within in 24 hours: a whirlwind of emotions

this golfing journey has put me in a whirlwind of emotions. a seesaw of ups and downs.
i've experienced my lowest point in life where i just feel battered and bruised with no more hope of ever playing professional golf. and then just as i thought i had no more tears to cry because of it, i started to realise that i needed a new plan in order to get myself started on my next golf training chapter. i went to sleep slightly revitalised and was starting to see some light at the end of this tiny dark tunnel. in 5 hours, my dad and i were supposed to go and practice and i found it yet again impossible to get out of bed. i really didn't want to go face the fact that i was playing crap golf. but i decided to have another try and hope for a miracle. sorry no miracle for me today. i felt so so frustrated with everything in my golf game. just as i thought i was losing all hope, tears flowed from my eyes. and i knew that i still felt strongly passionate about this game and since all the sadness, frustration and anger are part and parcel of life, it must also be part and parcel of golf.

all this happened within 24 hours mind you.

what happened to all the optimism and eagerness from 2 months ago? how did my spirit sink so low so quickly? i'd like to think its burnout but how can you burn out without having burnt anything at all ?

it is said that you can judge a person by the way he/she plays golf. i guess it also applies to the attitude towards golf and whether you give up on the game easily.

for me, i know i love the game and i know playing excellent golf, even scratch handicap is something achievable. i know that its my most logical progress in life because i really feel so correct when i'm playing golf (if describing that makes any sense to you)

how come it seemed so easy to move from being so optimistic and excited about improving my golf game to becoming so dejected and moody. then how come now i just find it extremely difficult to jump from being utterly disappointed in my lack of improvement to being that cheerful smily girl who never gave up.