its tougher than you read in the books

you read that often golfers deprove after trying to implement something new in their swing or golf game. but no one prepares for exactly HOW mentally challenging the process really is.

especially for me who is trying so hard to improve my game, it can really be very demoralising to see my golfing scores stagnate and even become worse.

i think i'm a mentally strong person in that i don't give up easily and am always very optimistic. i was very proud when jonathon praised me for having fighting spirit. i really don't like to lose. it must have been cultivated from my days in cedar girls' secondary where doing our best was part of the school culture. we were all for girl power and really cheered our hearts out during competitions.

I was playing in a match play against a very strong opponent and i realised that i really need to toughen up mentally if i want to continue on this journey towards improving my golf and being a scratch handicapper. I've learnt that it is so much easier to give up and just slump into laziness or enter a state of 'heck care already'

on the first nine, it was already such a tough fight. everytime she won a hole i would fight very very hard to win the next hole. by the 8th hole i felt so exhausted because i wasn't playing very well but i was really pushing myself to hit a good iron shot and chip and putt better. i really wanted to give up because i was 2 down. but then i tried to think about my secondary school days and how we never gave up until the last deciding monent. and i managed to find more energy and determination to keep fighting. by the last three holes we were in a 'dormie' which means i was 3 down with 3 more holes to play.

i managed to win the next two holes and we were on the last tee, i was one down with one to play. and i really wasn't hoping for much. i just wanted to get a par to end the game well. and hopefully if i parred it then i would finish 18 holes all square and maybe we'd play sudden death. she sunk an amazing biride putt and i was going for par. and that was it.

it really sucks to lose. the feeling where you know you just weren't playing at your best. its this annoying nibbling feeling inside that just makes you sad, frustrated, hopeful all at once. i know the loss shouldn't be such a big deal because i really didn't play well. the fact that my 93 managed to play her 80 all the way to the last hole is already a mean feat. yet i also feel hopeful knowing that at my standard, and putting in more substantial practice and hard work, i can only improve