importance of a good mentor

sometimes it is much easier to go through life with a mentor to show you the ropes, share valuable experience and encourage you when you feel demoralised. if you find yourself easily discouraged and don't feel good enough, then maybe you need to work on confidence and self esteem issues. but often, a good mentor that is willing to guide and support you through can be very beneficial. someone more experienced can see your potential and encourage you not to give up when you feel like nothing is going your way.

emphasis on WILLING and wanting you to improve and do well

not right

something's not right when you have no reason to wake up in the morning
your dreams are about running away and hiding from some people trying to kill you
the days seem meaningless to experience
the nights feel too long and lonely
celebrating your birthday doesn't excite you
the thing that once motivated you feels distant
you just want to be left alone by the people closest to you

i dream of being on the cover of FHM

I think of the Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice and how she became so famous after winning a gold medal at the recent Olympic Games. She did a lingerie spread in a magazine and was really hot because she's a swimmer ! 

heehee i've also been inspired by the Korean singer Lee Hyori who at the age of 31 looks really really good. similiar to Vivian Hsu who just gets more and more sexy as she gets older. I aim to be a famous Singapore golfer and one day get onto the cover of FHM. even though i often look at the girls on the cover and think 'they're not that hot' , it's still an amazing feat to be there. 

you can be fit and toned shuyan ! awesome hot golfer on the cover of FHM COME ON ! haha 

I HAVE MY DRIVING LICENSE !!!!

ok not the real card yet but they gave us this slip of paper that says ' you are allowed to drive while waiting for your driving license' lol

i'm so pleased with myself for passing on the first attempt and only getting 8 demerit points !! muah haha i was quite worried because i didn't do a U Turn and went back to school. i thought it was a sign that i failed and didn't need to finish the test route. so my heart was beating like crazy while waiting for the result. tadah !! he came in with a big smile !!!!!!!

yupp yupp maybe it's cos they are nicer to girls and thanks to tong who advised me to dress 'more hot' (his words not mine)
woke up especially early to get ready and get myself settled for the test.

the tester was actually quite nice, not like the mean ones you often hear from other people who fail. i'm just so lucky ! no correct that, i'm such a good driver :)

neo passed me his extra P plates so i was lucky enough to get them by today in time to drive everyone for dinner and home ! didn't park the car in the house yet. dad says i have to practice in the day time first.

my dad is so cool ! he wants me to learn the singapore map first before i'm allowed to drive out. testing me tomorrow. hmm hope there's no trick questions lol

i regret not paying more attention to learning the expressways during geography class. grrr

i'm sounding so disorganised but i'm just so overwhelmed with excitement on passing the driving test !! yayyyy
can't wait till i'm confident enough to drive by myself :)

i feel like a new person, the new shuyan with a driving license !! everything is so exciting and fresh again ! there is new found energy :in my life !

You are not defined by your personality

I've been reading this book called 'Reinventing Yourself' and i really like how he describes that people do not need to be their personality. They can behave in any way they want at any time. I thought about it and find it true because although i'm usually an optimistic person, there are times when i feel like a total grouch and wallow in self pity. I try my best to become more positive and change my negative energy into motivation to do something else.

Therefore, instead of saying that I have different personalities in different situations, which sounds a bit schizophrenic, i would like to be an inspiring person no matter how i choose to behave or think. I hope that even when i am in a bad mood in front of other people, they can be inspired by the way i bitch about something but get over it quickly, accept that it has happened and then move on. Inspire people by the way i try to be a sunshine to the people around me.

The analogy used is when you bump your knee hard against a table and there is a painful bruise.You don't let the pain consume your existence from then on, you endure the pain and carry on with what you have to do. You don't go around saying you are a bruised knee. You accept the pain and move on. Treat anything you are unhappy with in your life that cannot be controlled like the bruised knee. If you focus on it and sit down and cry, the pain will still be there but at the end of the cry-fest you would have accomplished nothing. When you accept the pain and continue with your normal activities, you find the pain soon becomes bearable or even goes away.

What you focus on gets stronger. Would you rather focus on pain or on things that make you happy?
They could be just small things but find time to be grateful for them and you too can become a more inspiring person.

SMILE !

direct reflection

i think my blog about golfing is a direct reflection of the way i feel about golf. when i'm enthusiastic about playing and practicing, i update alot and even have inspiration to create polyvore collages. somehow the passion has been waning and it shows in this blog :( i don't update as often or as much as i would like.

i try to ask myself what i want to do from here on but i really don't know. i feel like i've gone back to a time when i don't even feel like being awake because i don't know what to do in my life. Making my whole life just about golf didn't make me happy, but not playing golf at all doesn't make me happy either.

My one motivation now is to get my driving license on Friday. That's in 2 days !! i'll have a new sense of achievement that will jumpstart me to create new desires.

One of my backup plans if i don't play professional golf was to become a golfing coach. I need to spend some time thinking over if it is something i will enjoy. sighs

the study system has made it so difficult for us to decide what to do in our lives. We work towards achieveing a qualification. good grades that we think can help us figure out what we are good at so we may go into that field in the future. but it doesn't allow us to seek our passion.

Speaking for myself, i did my degree in Finance and Marketing which i had no idea about before i started the course. I chose it because it sounded interesting and fun but i don't even know if it is something i like that much and an area i would want to work in.

Maybe it was the choices i made in secondary school. maybe most people are lost like me. everyone probably goes through the same process of discovering themselves and their goals in life. they just don't announce it to the whole world.

smile shuyan ! i am slightly lost right now but that does not define me. i know that i will be fine as long as i am happy.

never give up it's such a wonderful life !

this is the original video of the song 'wonderful life' by hurt. the new video is more expressive but i like how the original video just captures the essence of the song and lets you get lost in the lyrics. although the dancing isn't as smooth as the new video, you get a very different feel from watching this one.

truly inspiring when i listen to the chorus
'don't let go, never give up it's such a wonderful life'

i always remind myself that i have to encourage myself but sometimes it gets hard to believe in yourself or even find the meaning to carry on

but being alive is such a wonderful thing ! there are endless opportunities and things to explore in this life. i know that no matter what, my life will be fulfilling and fun. even on days where i feel like i've lost my soul and essence.